Kimmy Schemy

Archive for the ‘joys of motherhood’ Category

Kids are tougher than we sometimes give them credit for. However, no matter how tough a child is, he is still a child and he needs help and emotional support when he gets separated from any of his parents or both. He may seem busy playing, studying or anything else, but deep inside he knows there is something amiss, and though he may not talk about it, it’s there.

So, how do we help our child cope when papa or mama goes away?

1. Acknowledge his feelings. It is very important that we acknowledge that he feels sad and lonely about papa being away. It will make it easier for him to get over it when he knows his feeling is acceptable and accepted. It wouldn’t help if we force a child to ‘be brave and not be a sissy.’ It would just make him feel guilty about how he really feels. Let the child know that it is natural to feel sad when the one you love is not with you.

2. Empathize with your child. Let your child know that you are just as sad as he is and that you are in this together. It will make him feel braver knowing that you are on his side, that you suffer as much as he does. Just be careful not to make him feel responsible to make you feel better. We just don’t know it but sometimes our child takes that responsibility.

3. Tell him ‘everything is going to be fine..’ and MEAN IT. Don’t let your child feel that you are on the edge and will break down any minute. Don’t let him see you trying to drown your loneliness with a bottle of liquor or going out with friends every night so you won’t feel how lonely it is without someone beside you in bed. Set a good example. Whether the separation is your decision or not, it is your responsibility to your child to give him a normal and happy life.

People go away for various reasons. But whatever those reasons are, they wouldn’t make the pain of separation less painful. The only thing left for us to do is to make life more bearable for us and our child when we got separated from the one we love.

As a tutor, one of the most rewarding tasks for me is teaching my kids at home. I can still remember when my kids were still in preschool and we didn’t have internet connection yet, I used to copy the pictures from their books on pieces of paper. I remember drawing round objects, square objects, rectangular objects, etc., it was FUN!

I also remember guiding their hands when they trace lines until they develop power grip. It felt so good enclosing their little fists with mine as they labor with their writing drills. Candid’s favorite shape to trace was circle while Mika and Daryl preferred straight lines.

Now that they are big enough to do their own homework, I simply have to explain what they are supposed to do or those they did not fully understand. And after all these years.. teaching is still as fun as ever!

One of the most exciting and controversial parts of pregnancy is CRAVINGS. Well, to begin with, pregnant or not pregnant, I eat a lot but the urge to eat when I am pregnant is almost unbearable. And, though I hate to admit it, when I crave, it’s unreasonable.

During my first pregnancy, I was craving for stolen local black berries (duhat). There was, in our place, a house surrounded by duhat trees. I was dying for a taste of those shiny plump fruits and I didn’t want any other.

On my second pregnancy, I was craving for orange and grilled pork chops, specifically the one sold beside the Baliwag Terminal in Cubao (Quezon City). And finally on my last pregnancy, I was craving for barbeque being sold on the sidewalk and not the ones prepared by myself or anyone I know.

Hormones or simply caprice?

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When my kids were very young, I used a piece of gauze to clean their teeth and tongue, and when I ran out of it, I would cover my forefinger with a clean cotton shirt. But when they became toddlers, I bought each of them a kiddie toothbrush with soft bristles.

At first, I was the one holding the brush and I would just ask them to open their mouths while I brush their teeth gently. When I was done with the teeth, I would ask them to stick out their tongues then I would brush them clean.

When they got a little older and were able to brush their teeth by themselves, we would brush our teeth all together and have so much fun doing that.

But at the time, what I was doing exactly was training them to brush their own teeth so that I wouldn’t need to do it for them. It is only now that I realize how rewarding it was and how lucky I am for being given the chance to do it.

Now, with my oldest at 16, the middle at 11 and the youngest at 9, obviously they do their own thing already including brushing their teeth, but I am happy and proud that whatever they do and wherever they go, the fact that  I was the first person to brush their teeth will never change..

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One of the activities that my kids enjoy when they were young was BATH TIME!

Yes, they love the water. In fact, it was always difficult to stop them once they started. I never had any problem giving my kids a bath except when it’s time to get dry and get dressed.

At first, I couldn’t figure out how to stop them without breaking their hearts. But since they were placed in a bath tub and were playing with the water, I deliberately splashed the water off the the tub until it is nearly empty and  no longer as enjoyable to play with as it was a few minutes back

That’s the time I drape the towel over their bodies and them a loving hug. Then comes the next enjoyable part… DRESSING UP!

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Another difficult task for a mom is getting kids to eat. It is, I guess, a known fact that kids are difficult to feed. Sometimes, they simply don’t want to eat. So, I tried various ways to make eating an enjoyable experience to my kids.

Just like other moms, I bought my kids their own plastic tableware sets. Having their own ‘stuff’ made them feel important, and to make meal time inviting, using tableware with cartoon character designs was for me not a bad idea. To make ‘eating’ an interesting event, I tell them stories so they normally focus on the stories and do not notice that they were eating all the food I put on their plates. It didn’t need to be a different story every meal time, but something I know they liked.

When my kids became toddlers, they couldn’t stand being seated for a long time so I let them get off the chair. Consequently, I had to call them back to give them food or I go to them. Tiring.. yes. That’s why, I trained them to eat by themselves as early as possible

Well, I guess this is, if not the most, one of the most difficult and challenging parts of motherhood. For one, it’s messy and for another, it’s a long and complicated process.

But how do you POTTY TRAIN? The first thing you need to do of course it to get your child a nice potty. It would be better if you get something that he likes or he finds amusing. Then, take off the diaper and tell him to tell you if he wants to poop or to pee. But chances are, he won’t, so you’ll end up with a soiled underwear.

You have to try again. This time, you have do the same thing, take off the diaper and tell him, this time in a more serious voice, to tell you if he needs to poop or to pee. If you get lucky, you might hear your child say ‘Mommy, I want to poop..’ so you get his potty only to find out that he pooped already.

Don’t lose hope. Why not try to do it another way? Ask your child if he needs to poop or to pee. If yes, then give him the potty, if not, leave him be, but ask him again after an hour or less. Or.. you may want to be a little more imposing, try saying ‘Come on, baby! Time to pee…’

Well, these strategies worked for me when I potty trained my 3 kids, they might work for you, too

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The moment my husband arrived at the airport, the first thing my son, Daryl asked from him was “Where’s my bike?”

Yes, it was a long-standing promise from Papa and Daryl never forget about it even for a single minute.

Two years ago when my husband finally decided to work overseas, he promised our youngest, Daryl, that he would buy him a bike. Not the one for small kids but that which is used by big boys. Though I strongly loathed the idea, I had to defer as that was the only way our son would consent to papa’s leaving for abroad. And every single day since then, he waited for papa to come home with his big bike. Every time we chat on YM, he would ask papa where his bike is.

And now that he’s come home, papa had to make good of his promise. So, despite my apprehensions, papa got Daryl a bike. But to make me feel better, he also bought a helmet for protection. And here he is now, Daryl on his bike with a helmet on his head..

I am going to get him nice pairs of elbow and knee pads later. Well, mommies are like that. They always make it their business to worry about their children’s safety

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Most mommies are photo maniacs. They love taking pictures of their kids. The first picture of my eldest was about 4 hours after her birth, my second was 2 days after her birth and the youngest was a week after his birth. Did you notice the change?

Well, let’s just say, first-time mommies are dead-crazy over pictures and capturing every first there is, first smile, first walk, first sit, first teeth, etc. These pictures are eventually documented in a nice baby album complete with captions. How organized!

However, there are more important things that mommies should keep and organize. These are documents pertinent to her children’s lives from birth onwards. First of these documents is of course the birth certificate. Though we usually have in the house a photocopy of the original, it is still better to get authenticated copy from the National Statistics Office.

Second is the immunization card. This is very important as it is the actual record of the immunization your child already has and what more he needs to have.

Third is the baptismal certificate especially for Catholic families. This is needed when your child is about to receive her first communion.

These are just some of the documents that mommies need to keep. There are more as your child grows old like grade school diploma, high school diploma, various certificates from academic and non-academic competitions, etc.

I guess it’s better to have one file for each child to avoid confusion over whose is which. But since I only have 3 children, I keep all of their documents together in one clear book, plus photo copy of each document just in case.

Mommies are not only treasure chests of surprises, but they are also chests full of relevant information backed by tangible evidence :*

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Parents, especially first time ones, have a tendency to get overly excited. It’s a common thing for a first-time dad to buy a big blue truck or a first-time mom to order the newest Barbie doll for a three-month old baby.

OA? I guess not.. Natural, maybe. We, parents are just too anxious to make our kids happy that we sometimes forget the natural flow of things. Of course, we know that three-month old babies can’t play trucks and dolls yet, but, we just can’t help it, we get the toys and we really believe that “Oh my, she’s going to like it!”

Now, on the other side of the story, a baby or even an older one, a toddler, doesn’t know what toy is and is oblivious of the price of the toy or of all the pains it took the parent just to get that toy “for the little darling.” But that is a fact parents often don’t realize, that they get hurt or they get mad when they see the ‘nice blue truck’ with the wheels off and the windows broken because ‘the little darling’ smashed it against the wall because he likes the sound it created.

So, often times, the expensive toy is returned to the box before further damage is incurred. The box is then put inside a glass cabinet for the ‘little darling’ to look at

A toys doesn’t need to be expensive. It is something to enjoy, to play with, to learn from and in some cases.. to dispose of and parents will be surprised to know that kids, especially the young ones, prefer the MOST UNLIKELY OBJECTS for toys..

My daughter Candid (now 16) playing with Lolo’s hat when she was 6 months old

See what I mean?

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